How I Lost the One I Love
by ryrissa1993
Summary: hey, all, this is my 1st PP Fic. I wrote is back in 2012-found it n thought I'd let you guys see it and give me your thoughts. It is an Amelia fanfic. I do not know how I got the idea, just came to me, I guess. Bad at summaries, just take a stab at it, please. Rate T to be safe, drug, drinking reference.


**How I Lost the One I Love**

**Chapter One: Letter to you**

_**Authors Note: **_**Hey, all you Private Practice fans out there; this is a Fanfiction I wrote a while ago and am now deciding to post it up. It is my first Private Practice Fanfic. It is an Amelia Fanfiction, I think her character is amazing as well as the others…. In a way it is difficult as hell to choose a favorite I guess, just go by the mood you're in that day? ;) Anyway, this is about Amelia losing someone that she loved when she was a teenager…. All the information I am going to give you for now, not good at summaries or knowing where this is going so just take a stab at it. I hope you like it. Thanks for taking the time to read. **** Comments Welcome!**

_**Disclaimer: **_**I sadly do not own "Private Practice" or its characters just borrowing them for some dramatic fun! Enjoy!**

**All my Love,**

**Hope **

**Xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox oxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxxoxooxoxo**

Amelia Shepherd is a twenty two year old woman who is currently going to school and on her way to becoming an Nero Surgeon; when she was nineteen she overdosed…. Her best friend, Kellie passed away from an overdoes that same month. Amelia felt like Kellie's passing was somehow her fault; she should have been the one to die instead of her best friend. Her current state of mind was that of her death. She found a letter from Kellie just a few hours prior… the letter read:

_My Dearest Amelia, _

_I know you must be pondering in your mind how this could happen to me and not to you; knowing you as I do- you are sitting there blaming yourself…. Wanting to turn back to those days, you know those days when we were so high that we could no longer think. Everything that was going on in our twisted lives seemed to vanish from our minds at least for a little while…. Please, do not do that… I would not want that for you. I know took all those pills on purpose…. I was diagnosed with stage four cancer…. I did not want to suffer, having anyone watch me take my last breath, struggling and in so much pain until that day…. I know that you will feel pain and anger towards me, but that is Okay, it is normal to have those feelings and I expect you to. Promise me, that you will get clean and stay clean and fulfill your dream of becoming a doctor. I know you can do it, I believe in you. I know you are angry with me, hurt and upset and I am sure part of you does not understand why I did what I did, why I did not go to you or your brother or someone that has the medical knowledge to help me…. I do not care if you want or need it or not, I will be here, watching over you. I love you and I will wait for you and it better be a long wait. I love you Amie…. _

_All my Love,_

_Forever and Always,_

_Kellie 3_

The remembrance of her dear friend and love of her life, and her final good-bye always made Amelia think of things more often than not… it made her think of things she never used to do…. Kellie brought out the best in her she made Amelia see that she CAN deal with the difficulties that life may throw her way and that she is able to cope with whatever it is without getting drunk or high.

As twenty four years of age, Amelia is the doctor she promised Kellie she desired to be and promised she would become. She has a boyfriend; everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place. Amelia owes it all to Kellie, she would never be where she is today without her…. She does not know where she would be and gets chills down her spine just thinking about it…. With her words, knowing her knowing that she is looking down on her gives Amelia the peace of mind she needs…. …. Kellie is/was her savior… giving Amelia the willpower to now save herself.

Amelia now has a close relationship with her brother, Derek, a job that she loves, a man who loves heIr for who she is and not just for some girl that gets wasted and high, but for the strong, more independent, selfless person she now became. She was happy, truly happy…. At least she was until that dreadful day turned her life upside down….

_***** Cliffhanger…. Or whatever they call it in a story…. Lol. I hope you like chapter one. I wrote it back in 2012 and just forgot about it and found it again and decided to post it up and see what you all thought! I do not know where the idea came from or where it is going to go, let me know if I should continue with it or not. Comments definitely welcome! Thanks for reading! **___

_**Hope **_


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